December Horoscopes

Aries Moon and Rising:  December finds you chafing under social obligations. Chanel that antsy energy into moving meditations. No, I mean it! Uranus goes direct in Aries on December 21st and the best way to be prepared for the shock jock of the zodiac is to be 100 percent on your game.

Taurus Moon and Rising:  Enjoy the indoor comforts of Winter and possibly some revved up romance around the Solstice. Avoid getting caught up in other people’s holiday bustle. Focus on staying in the moment by taking the occasional secret whiff off the Christmas tree or scented candle.

Gemini Moon and Rising:  You’re like the Holiday Ninja this year. You will cartwheel through shopping, family and social interactions like actual liquid Mercury. Be nice to the rest of us, we have no idea what’s going on. Help us across the street, tell us we’re pretty and fix our remote control. Thanks Gemini!

Cancer Moon and Rising:  People are nuts, okay? It’s not you–it’s them. Let’s just get that out of the way. The Christmastime Full Moon has your name on it. Let the fools rush their way into oblivion while you focus on dreamy decorations that boost your creative energy. Everything is going to change for you in Dec/Jan so only let those who love and nurture you into your safe haven. It’s gonna be spectacular.

Leo Moon and Leo Rising:  You’ve got this! December is full of whammies, especially on Christmas Day. Remember, you ARE the star, and you have some rare opportunities to make an artistic or romantic endeavor very real by the start of the New Year. Don’t lose your cool. You are the only sign capable of blow-drying your way into higher consciousness. Use your powers for good.

Virgo Moon and Virgo Rising:  I’m trying to look away from the whole Jupiter thing you guys are doing over there…I’m sorry in advance for December 5th, but as you know, growth can be difficult. You’re about to go Super Virgo in the New Year. You’re continuing the process of metamorphosis and no one knows you right now, not even you.

Libra Moon and Rising:  It’s driving you crazy isn’t it? Mars eating off your good China and with his feet up on your pretty table. I’ll be honest, it is going to be this way for a while. But if anyone could handle it, it’s you. Turn on the charm and grin your way through the holidays. Things ease up in the New Year so just take a poetic stance with the whole thing until then and all will be well.

Scorpio Moon and Rising:  Clear all decks, this is Scorpio 2.0. You will be upgraded and your previous operating system will be destroyed. And you’ll like it. But not at first. Your ancient ruler Mars is coming home for a long visit and nothing will ever be the same. Everything only gets better if we allow it. Shed that skin.

Sagittarius Moon and Rising: Sooooo, reality, right? That Saturn is a trip! Is it like you’re seeing everything for the first time? It’s like in the Matrix when Neo was all power learning martial arts and stuff. You are rebuilding your relationship with reality and spirituality. Of all the signs my money is on you to come up with a mystical bridge we all can cross. You’re the sage and I think right now, you’re on the learning curve of all the secrets.

Capricorn Moon and Rising:  Keep your shields up through mid-December, no shit.  You’re a busy goat with a New Moon in Capricorn coming up as well as Pluto continuing to occupy  your sector and then Mercury coming to buzz through. You are becoming a bionic seagoat!  So glad that all my Caps are going through this transformation and restructuring the universe. I trust you implicitly!

Aquarius Moon and Rising:  You are the sensational sensei of cool clarity. Leave it to the others to play, you’ve got no time. Child of Uranus, your ice cold transformation skillz will astound come Christmas. Channel it like a mofo as you become the lightening rod of New Years To Come. Lead us, oh electric one, into the future.

Pisces Moon and Rising:  There’s a good chance you were recently sacrificed by an important person in your life, and it wasn’t for the higher good. It’s no fun getting pushed around by other people’s growth spurts or sudden narcissistic bouts. Where does that leave you? Stop smiling as if you’re trying to get Likes and start glowing like the magical being you are. To feel is to heal. This Christmas, focus on what YOU want. You are special and the Universe does like you best, now go out and act like it. It’s okay, I give you official permission.


Happy Holidays

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